Furamo

stories about this and that

There’s so much suffering in the world, most of which is brought upon us by other people. There are so many evildoers. Evil, or just indifferent, irresponsible people. People who cause others harm, through their greed, hate, selfishness. But just as I feel sorry for all the victims, I also feel sorry for the ones to blame. The people who make others suffer are not doing it because they have a choice. It is simply the result of the way they are. I know it from my own experience. Whenever I’ve made someone feel bad, it wasn’t as though I could have acted any differently. I acted as well as I could. It just turned out the way it did. In my case the misdeeds are minuscule on scale, for some their deeds have global consequences.

I feel sorry for everyone who causes others harm, for everyone who cannot be kind. I think being kind is the ideal way to be, as taught even by ancient religions. But most of us can’t help but just be the people we are and that is pitiable. I believe people act the way they do not because they decided to, but because of everything that had brought them to that point. A person’s genes, memories, their psyche eliminate all options except the one they will follow. And that one option just sometimes sucks balls for everyone involved.

So far most of my blog posts have either been about me being afraid of dying or about gacha games. I’ll try my best to write one now that is about neither of them.

… I guess I already failed.

In other news, I tried a bunch of different gacha games I hadn’t tried before recently. Princess Connect Re:dive had a nice story but the gameplay mechanics were forgettable, and Epic Seven was just a straight up better version of Summoners War that I played for half a year. Still not sure what game to spend more of my time on.

A couple of years ago I went to a gathering with friends and one of the guys had organized this game. All of us got a paper slip about someone else there and had to yell “bingo” or something when the person on the slip did a specific thing. The one about me was that I say “lol”. The guy with that slip won almost immediately after I stepped in the door, when he told some silly joke.

I didn’t realize it then, but I just did now – I’ve lost the ability to laugh. I just say “lol” out loud. Even when I’m alone. It’s quite weird. If I think about it, I’m not even sure how long ago it was the last time I actually laughed like a normal person.

I just had another domain expire that I never ended up using. It was for Habitorium, the habit-tracking tool I wanted to develop mostly for personal use.

It sure happens a lot. To get an idea that you deem worthy of spending your time on, register the domain, start working, and a few weeks or months later it is forgotten with negligible progress. I guess I’m not unique in that aspect, the same shit happens to the best of us. Therefore, it is damn impressive when someone actually follows through with their thing.

Here’s a short list of some recent unfinished projects, so that I can feel better about them by letting at least the ideas live on in this blog:

• Habitorium – the habit tracking webpage. I developed it with React.js and Firebase.
• Irlie – an “irlie” is a spontaneous meeting in real life. It was going to be an app which gives you random people that you have to meet irl. Kinda like Omegle for real life meetings. I can only image the amount of psychopaths and serial killers you could have met through it. I built it with react native. This is the one which had the best domain name and i regret losing it.
• Grim Ascent – the predecessor for the current game I’m working on, with a similar basic idea. Both front end and back end with vanilla javascript / node.js.
• Which manga chapter – A website to match anime episodes to manga chapters that they are adapted from. I built the entire thing, in WordPress, with amazon affiliate links for monetization. I dropped the nearly finished project when entering the data turned out to be overly tedious.
• Seateur – a webpage, similar to doodle.com, but with specific focus on organizing board game and card game events. It never got any actual code written for it. I even paid for professional logo design:

A few years ago doctors took an ultrasound picture of my stomach and found that I have an extra spleen, for backup, in case the original one fails. Unfortunately, the organ I most require a backup for is my brain. Any organ donor volunteers?