They say there are five senses. Vision, touch, smell, hearing and taste. My nose hasn’t ever really worked well, so I’m lacking the smell one. But even though I am lacking the sense of smell, I’ve noticed a kind of a sixth sense. For each object, location or person – basically anything – I have this specific feeling that fully encapsulates massive amounts of information and memories about the thing into one compact feel.

It is hard to describe it – there aren’t really words for these kinds of things. But I’ve just called that sensation a “feeling” for myself. The “feeling” feels kind of like a color or something. Or a taste. But not quite. And you feel it with your whole being. I haven’t talked about it much nor known if others experience something similar.

Today I started a new book, “Focusing”, written in 1981. It describes the exact same experience I’ve had of sensing everything through an inexplicable “sixth sense”. Since there are no words for these things, the book’s author also made up their own words for them. They gave my “feeling” the name of “felt sense”. For me it’s a wonderful discovery, really validating – knowing that what I’ve been sensing all this time is a real thing and has been written about.

I am pretty bad at explaining things, putting my thoughts to words. But the book explains the “felt sense” pretty well. It feels nice reading a clear description for a thing you always felt but could never fully describe yourself. Now, knowing what to look for, I found even more books about the same topic.

I wish there was way more research about human minds, not just biological, but also psychological, to get some of the current theories to a level where they become scientific truths. Understanding how your mind works would be extremely helpful, especially nowadays with ever increasing rates of mental illness. And the help you can get for those illnesses is currently questionable at best, because we are only still figuring these things out.

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I went to a friend’s birthday party yesterday. He lives in the Russian district of the city, close to where I used to live in high school, so it was kinda nostalgic to walk around there.

He has a small, super friendly dog. The dog was really interested in my beer and constantly tried to sniff it and lick it. Later, someone actually gave the dog a drop of beer and after that it lost its interest in mine. I guess he didn’t like the taste, just the smell.

We played board games and video games, hours passed. I got way too drunk and lost control over what I was saying, telling some pretty cringe stories. At some point, me and another dude at the party left for another event – a night time gaming convention nearby.

The gaming convention was fun as hell. There was so much stuff to do and see there. I was really drawn to the stand that sold anime merchandise – a highlight for me that they had was a hand painted picture of Marin Kitagawa.

People always tell me when they visit my place that my walls are so empty – that I should put some pictures up. I thought about buying the waifu picture at the stand for decorating my home, but ended up not getting it.

They also had a bunch of figurines for sale – the most interesting ones being those of Rem, who is particularly relevant at the moment since the show she is from is currently airing another season. And she’s also a character in the mobile game I play daily.

The only souvenir I got in the end from that stand was a Bocchi keychain.

The event had many arcade machines, pc-s and consoles around for playing. Me and a friend played a few games of Dr Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine, which has been my favorite game ever since I played it for the first time in 2004, on my Nokia N-Gage with an emulator.

While playing that game there, I started at difficulty 5 and my friend at difficulty 1. I was too drunk for the speed and concentration it required and lost. So I kept reducing the difficulty each game, and finally won when we were playing on the same level. Later we came back to that machine, I was more sober, kept increasing the difficulty and managed to win up to difficulty 4. It was quite an experience, playing my favorite game for the first time on an arcade-like machine.

The event also had a cosplay competition. There were various cosplays from Genshin Impact and some other IP-s I don’t care about. And the highlight for me – a cosplay of OMGkawaiiAngel from Needy Streamer Overload. I loved that game – its protag is a girl with severe mental illness and personality disorders and drug addiction and you gotta manage her mental state to get through the game. All of which is relatable to me.

That cosplay was well executed. When the cosplayer stumbled on stage, it actually seemed in character, which was cute. I voted for her in the competition. But I wasn’t there when the competition results were announced so I still don’t know who won it.

Around the time I was in university I used to hang around with people every single day. I had energy to go to multiple social events in one night. Nowadays I meet people like once a month at best. But the amount of stuff experienced yesterday almost made me feel young again.

So. Have any suggestions what picture I should put up on my living room wall instead? Leave a comment if you do.

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Covfefe gonna peepee poopoo

September 23, 2024

The home appliance I use the most is definitely my water kettle. I make like 4 cups of coffee and 2 cups of tea every day and also use it to make instant foods like noodles and porridges. I had the same kettle ever since I moved out to live on my own, for 20 years. It got really worn out and damaged in different places. The limescale was even seeping through the kettle’s outer plastic.

Now I finally have a new water kettle. I asked for one as a birthday gift. Using the new one makes me happy in some weird, small, but fulfilling way.

It is nice how small things like that can add a bit of joy to your everyday life. I’m really grateful for all the convenience I’ve had.

Can you too find something small like that in your life to celebrate and be grateful for? If you look around, you might notice something you’ve been taking for granted.

The new kettle

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Booku no Booko 2

July 15, 2024

I put garlic sauce on almost all of my meals. From today’s anime episode I learned that having a bottle of it always at hand makes me well protected against vampire attacks.


On another topic – the book I’m currently reading, How to Know a Person, is indeed a good read. It’s about communication skills – about being kind and open, about supporting others in different ways.

My own communication skills are in a pretty bad shape. Of course just reading books won’t improve them. Gotta actually practice the skills and be around people to see any improvement.

Reading the book still has been inspiring. Some chapters had emotional stories that brought a tear to my eye. And others taught me various theory about being a nicer person to be around. Putting the theory to practice will require a lot of trying and failing and learning.

I’ll keep trying my best to become at least a bit more humble, curious and kind.

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Booku no Booko

May 24, 2024

I just finished this book. Which is a good read by the way, it changes the way you see things. And I guess Google knew I had just become bookless, because I got recommended this article about Bill Gates’ current top book recommendations. So of course I instabought his #1 recommended book. For some reason the Kindle version was more expensive than the physical version, so I ordered a physical copy. My bookshelf has recently only gotten new mangas – its about time I add an actual new book to it. After I have finished reading it.

Don’t worry, I will let you guys know in a month or so if Bill Gates’ recommendation was a good one or nah.

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